To be a wife material is not just a mouth talk or a day work, it is saddled with a lot of responsibilities. But before we elaborate more on this concept, we really need to understand what it means to be a wife & material.
It is also inevitable to discuss about the concept of marriage, without taking into cognisance who a wife is.
Who therefore is a wife?
An overview of a wife can be traced back to the beginning of creation, when Adam was created in the garden of Eden, and Eve was given to him by God.
Adam came into existence first, after which Eve followed suit. When Adam was created, God saw that he was lonely and needed a companion. Someone that would always be by his side, as a partner, adviser and also an help meet in fulfilling their duties and responsibilities together.
So the main purpose of a wife is to be her husband’s partner, helpmeet, adviser and also a friend. Little wonder, a popular saying goes thus “behind a successful man, there is a strong and supporting woman”. So when a man is not doing well financially, the wife really needs to check herself, because she could be a limitation to his financial strength or capability.
What is a material?
According to Dictionary.com, a material is a substance, of which a thing is made or composed.
From the combination of these two words, it can be expressed that a wife material is a woman that has the attributes or the composition of the original purpose of what a woman was really created for, at the beginning of creation.
A woman is not just created to be a bed warmer or a pleasure edifice, she is not created to be a child bearer or baby factory, neither is she just created to be a home keeper nor only a cook because it is widely believed, especially in our African setting that a woman who is a good cook can be valued as a valued wife material. Meanwhile, this assertion can be wrong, as this is not an entirety of who a wife material really is.
Back then in the garden of eden, there was no such homely duties as cooking of meals, home management, there was no bed to be warmed neither were kids running around in the garden except Adam and Eve were with the animals. However, when sin came in through the serpent and was committed by the first couple, the original purpose of a husband and wife was altered because they were cursed by God for doing what they were forbidden to do.
This led to the point that man has to till the land with hard labour before he could eat, and the woman has to go through pain before giving birth… Now you can really see what altered the purpose of the nature of a man and woman, just the way climate is altering the nature of the earth.
The bible says he that finds a wife finds a good thing, but majority believe the attribute goes to a very beautiful, sexy looking lady. But I tell you, not all beautiful ladies will always be a good wife material because majority of them do not have the attributes of a true wife material.
However, it is quite disheartening that men of nowadays are really making a lot of mistakes whenever we want to settle down to having a partner. All they are on the lookout for is beauty, good shape (figure 8), educational background, family background, social and economic status, neglecting to look for the main qualities of what a real woman is expected to have. If a woman is so beautiful but can’t prove herself to be a good companion, help meet, partner or a good adviser, then she’s of no value to her husband. If she’s a good cook, love partner, gives birth to numerous children, works like a jack ass in the home but doesn’t have the features of what God really created a woman to be, she’s nothing but a woman still living in the cursed state that Adam and Eve had put us all. Both Adam & Eve were cursed, but as time passed by, there have been lots of events, especially the death of Christ, who came to die in our place and paid heavily the ransom for our inherited sin. This I believe has nullified the curse & reinvented the original purpose of a man and woman
One of the purposes of the creation of a woman was to be helpmeet and life partner to a man. Hence when a woman is married, she has to leave her family, change her name and cleave to her husband, because they’re no longer two but one flesh, and everything is centred around building a home and raising a family together. Anything that is intended to be achieved in life, it is important to lay a good foundation, before settling down to marriage, because it is expected of a woman to work towards not just fulfilling her goals, but also that of her husband so they can achieve a common goal as a team.
More so, it is expected of a woman to respect & be submissive to the husband. The word submission is not just to submit her body for sex, but her whole life, career, and everything that the woman is.
In Africa people believe a woman must end up in the kitchen but I believe a woman really needs to end up in her husband’s heart. Ending up in the kitchen without been part of his plan, future, day to day activities is just a waste of time because a time might come when there could be no money to run the kitchen so what will you be doing? Cooking trouble, disrespect & hatred? Nagging all about for food, complaining you are not being fed the way you should? Protesting & disappointed of how trapped you are? Although it’s quite bad that some women are found nagging, complaining of how their husbands can’t take good care of them and the family, neglecting the fact that there was a curse in the beginning & the effects of the curse is altering the nature of marriage “In your pains & sweat, you shall eat”. That was exactly the words spoken into the lives of both Adam & Eve and for the fact that we are humans, we all have a stake in this. But for the fact that Christ has died for we humans, the curse has been lifted & is now left to us to make sure that the redemption and atonement manifest in our lives.
In conclusion, if a woman is not a good friend to her hubby, a good planner, or if she keeps making uncalculated risks in her relationship, the type that drains her marriage financially or she doesn’t have any positive value or impact on her home, then she has not proven herself to be a wife material. Also, a good wife material that really wants to enjoy her marriage and have a lovely future must have the qualities of the first woman on earth “Eve” and at the same time try not to involve herself in decisions that could cost her the peace and joy of her home.
OGUNTIMEHIN IBUKUNOLUWA (Isaac Ace)
B. A, History & International Relations
(C) 2020, Ruziland Koncept.
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